SUNSHINE 🌞

Today feels like summer in Chilliwack BC!!! Last week it was unusually snowy, this week is unusually summery.  Nothing like sunshine to brighten the day and brighten people's spirits! It is so evident! As I watch my neighborhood buzzing and the river trail bustling I am compelled to think : "this is the kinda influence I want to have on other people's lives!! I want to be the sunshine that gets others moving and smiling!!!"

Who's with me?!



"You're here to be light bringing out the God-colors in the world. " Matt 5 (MSG)

(So grateful to live in this beautiful city!)

Joy Is

Here in the Fraser Valley, BC it is extremely late for a snowfall in March.  It is unusual and yet beautifully delightful for the poet in me. The flakes are huge, gorgeous and romantic. (My 3 year old daughter just called it “dancing snow”! I love it!)  I have been working on poetry more often, keeping it mostly private for now, hoping to work on a compilation shortly.  But today I will share the poem that came when I was walking home from dropping my daughter off at school.  A few months ago I wrote in my journal: “Cheryl, rediscover the poet in you, even if you think she is weird.”

I chuckle at myself.   But in embracing the poet in myself (for those of you who know Enneagram personality stuff, the “4” in me)  I will share the poem I wrote today. My hope is that it will bring you an increased measure of Joy in your day.  The “scientist” within me has provided a commentary below. Wink wink.

XOXO,

Cheryl

Joy Is

Joy is the delight of moisture on my brow that makes my heart thrill.
It is the snowy rain that whets my soul
It is the sweat upon my forehead
Reminding me I am still alive
SO ALIVE!

Joy is the mystery that finds me satisfied
In snow
In rain
In desert storms.

Joy is the fuel that propels me forward gliding through my days
Though the forces of friction in my life
Are strong
Warring against me
With so much might.

Joy is the salve my wounded heart needs.
It is the beauty in the world that can ALWAYS be found
When eyes are open and prepared.

Joy is the goodness in this LIFE
available every day
In all these moments
That try to pass us by in hurried fashion.
Joy is the gift for those who slow their pace.

Joy is the little humans inhabiting my home, my heart, my entire world
With so much energy and innocence,
wonder and belief.

Oh thank you God!
That joy is mine.

Commentary:

The idea that joy can be found despite life’s circumstances is wild and uncommon; but, so very life giving!  Who wouldn’t want joy everyday?! Doesn’t the idea that joy can be found in all of life’s circumstances, make the slog of life more bearable? My personal mandate is to find HOPE in “hopeless” situations and to help others do the same.  A huge piece of finding hope in dismal days is opening your heart to beauty, to love, to courage, to vulnerability, to spirituality, to faith. 

I love Brene Brown.  She teaches that courage requires vulnerability.  Furthermore, she says, “faith is the vulnerability that flows between the shores of certainty.”  She also says “spirituality is inherently vulnerable.”

I love these words.  They resonate deeply with me.  Spirituality and faith are so important, especially in times where joy and hope feel scarce.

I have personally found the ability to find joy and hope in crappy times of life through the power of Jesus Christ (spirituality, faith and therefore inherent vulnerability).  I need something much bigger than myself when everything is falling apart or when nothing seems to make sense or when I reach a dead-end in life *.  Jesus and his life-giving power is my “something bigger than myself”.   I’ve shared in the past how before my twins were born I posted this verse on my wall:

Psalm 118:24 “This is the day that the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

I knew being a twin mom was going to be difficult (understatement!!!!) so valiantly I was going to find my joy in the Lord during those days.  Insert belly laugh for my blind ambition and naivety.  Ironically (but Jesus is full of irony and upside down wisdom), I did not grasp the true essence of this verse until brain cancer entered my head and my world and my life was unraveling in front of me.  It was then that I began to see, though I don’t control and choose what life throws at me, you can be sure I DO control and choose my response and attitude to it.    

How do I rejoice and be glad about each day?  I choose to find Joy every day.  For me and my personal faith that means that I choose to believe that I am empowered by the Holy Spirit living inside me who enables me to see joy in these little moments (which in culmination are HUGE moments).

Brene brown further says (Oh my perfectionist and performance driven, -ennaegram #3- self needed to hear this one!): “in the ordinary moments of our lives is where we can find the most joy.”

The most joy is found in ordinary moments when we have eyes, hearts, spirits open to see, feel, experience.

This is good news people!  Joy is attainable for all of us, everyday!  Wow!  Let’s spread this good news!  It is absolutely LIFE CHANGING!!!!!

Choose joy.  Share joy.  Create Joy. Find Joy. Proclaim Joy. Spread Joy! Let’s make our world a more joyous place!!!

__________________________________________________________  

*(and indeed even when life seems to be traipsing along just nicely)

Update and vacation pics

It feels like its been a long time since I’ve just been here writing an “update”.  I miss this place.  I love to write.  It’s my happy space where I can process, share, hopefully encourage, and also hopefully flex my vulnerability muscles.  Why haven’t I been here doing this lately?  I’m not entirely sure.  What I do know is that I’ve been pressing into reading, learning, personal and spiritual growth a lot.  The backstory for my future posts is that I have been reading personality stuff (Ennaegram particularly), I’ve been reading and listening to Brene Brown about shame, vulnerability, and courage.  I attended a relaxation class at the cancer center that taught mindfulness.  And I’ve read a book about recovering from trauma.  It feels so good to be using my brain to think and learn and analyze and apply concepts.  I very much miss those aspects from my professional life. 

If that’s the back-story, the front-story is that I’m continually exhausted.   As I make strides in reducing my anxiety and reading about trauma recovery I am able to clearer dissect what part of my fatigue is psychologically driven (post-trauma) and what is physiologically driven (brain-injury, post-cancer treatment).  Of course many of my friends who also have young children also are continually exhausted! But even with breaks from caring for my children I find myself fatigued (of course this annoys me as I used to be able to accomplish so much efficiently and have always felt napping was a waste of time….though learning about my personality has been very helpful in tackling this sort of thing).  Perhaps my oncologist will have further insight for me when I see him next month.

We did have a lovely trip in January to West Edmonton Mall where we stayed in a super cool space room!  The trip involved a day at the waterpark and a day at the rides.  My sister and brother-in-law joined us along with their 5 kids, as did my in-laws.  The kids loved the little get away and cousin time.  I enjoyed it too; but trips like that (so much commotion and noise and busy environment are certainly less enjoyable for me.)  And we’ve just returned from 10 days in California, hanging out with our friends from Saskatoon, going to Legoland, staying at the Legoland Hotel (huge highlight! That hotel is fantastic for small kids!!), and putsing around San Diego.  Travelling with 3 kids 6 and under is not for the faint of heart and is not relaxing and the kids and my husband all had colds at some point on the trip; but, it felt like a good reset for me.  When I’m on vacation I set aside everything else and only focus on what’s right in front of me (something I’m not very good at doing at home).  While physically extra exhausted from the trip I feel mentally less exhausted now (post-cancer feeling overwhelmed has been a big struggle and right now it feels under control) .  So this feels nice!

I’m currently so, so, so, so, so close to being done the first draft of the novel I’ve been working on intermittently for 10 years.  That feels real good!  It’s coming along slowly but surely (I currently am able to work on it one day a week). It’s a bucketlist need to complete before I die kinda thing, so seeing that will for sure happen is amazing!  BUT…as for the what do I do with it after????  That’s the question.  The novel has nothing to do with my cancer story, but with me being the author themes that I have learned about in my life surface in the book.  My personal mandate is to share the Hope I’ve found on my cancer journey and to spread this Hope.  If publishing and marketing my novel can help me do this, then I want to GO FOR IT!  However, this is so far beyond anything I have experience, knowledge, or natural aptitude for.  So I will somehow need to start networking to find appropriate resources.  This feels daunting; but I keep reminding myself that it is good to learn new things…beyond reading about them in books!  My husband is very supportive in this area.  (And things move slowly in my life, and that’s ok.  So as long as the momentum is moving forward, I am happy.)      

On the writing note, I also plan to start working more with my poetry.  Perhaps enter a few contests and eventually publish (self-publish or otherwise) a compilation of my poetry.

I’m really not very sure what my readership is like here; but, if any of you resources, insights, helpful experiences with the publishing world I graciously welcome them!  You can always email me at info@cherylrostek.com

Finally, I will leave you with the verses that I landed upon through my daily scripture reading in January.  It felt fitting that this then ought to be my verses for this year.  It has been a powerful section of scripture for me which I try to read daily.  Verse 21 is the verse that God gave my Mom when I was diagnosed with cancer. I cling to the promises of Hope, and Love, and Life in these verses and that I have a God who cares so deeply for me and battles on my behalf, and I let these verses become my prayer.  What could be better than this?!

Lamentations 3

vs. 21 “yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The unfailing love of the LORD never ends!...Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day.”

Vs.  55 “But I called to you, LORD, from deep within the well and you heard me! You listened to my pleading and you heard my weeping! Yes, you came at my despairing cry and told me, ‘do not fear’

LORD, you are my lawyer! Plead my case! For you have redeemed my life.”

Please continue to join me in prayer asking the LORD to plead my case for a healed brain!  Ever-trusting His faithfulness and Praising Him in such Gratitude for what He has done already!   

Some more vacation pics from our time in California.

 

XOXO much love to you all,

Cheryl