The first few months after my diagnosis I didn’t quite know how to deal with the idea of requesting prayer for healing and what to do with faith, this elusive faith-thing, if healing did not occur. I still always welcomed healing prayer, absolutely; but there was always a feeling like perhaps I wasn’t “all in” just in case. It’s a tough place to be when you want to believe; but you don’t want what little faith you have to be dashed.
I am no theologian, nor have I been reading books on prayer or on faith healing; but I have come to a place where I am now compelled to pray passionately for my own healing – and invite those of you who pray to do the same (and I graciously welcome healing vibes from those of you who send your support that way). You may ask, as I did myself, “How can I ask you to pray fervently for healing for me when we know so well how awful cancer can be and brain cancer is one of the ‘bad ones’?” Psalm 112 begins to answer this for me:
A righteous person will always be remembered.
She is not afraid of bad news.
Her heart remains secure, full of confidence in Yahweh.
Her heart is steady, and she is not afraid.
Then hear these words just a bit further into Psalms (Psalm 116):
I love God because He listened to me….
What can I give back to God for the blessings he’s poured out on me?
I’ll lift high the cup of salvation ----
A toast to God!
I realize that these verses do not provide a full answer to the unanswerable question of healing prayer. But through God’s peace these words and concepts are enough and truly, I am not afraid. No, rather than being afraid, I celebrate in a toast to God the blessings he saturates my life with. My God will go with me wherever I go, wherever cancer takes me. With this steady heart join me, I graciously ask, to echo my heart’s prayer:
I plead to God to add days to my life; but truly I praise God for the transformation of my soul and for adding LIFE to my days*. In this spirit of thanksgiving I petition God: keep the cancer away – destroy it, anniliate it, cut it off from even starting to grow, starve it! Heal my brain. May my scan in 2 weeks be spectacular as I trust in Your power God. Your mighty, amazing, healing power! Paul in the bible tells us that the same power that raised Christ from the dead lives within his followers! In this same power of the Holy Spirit I pray this all-in petition, God! Heal this diseased body and give me years upon years upon years in my life. Grant me my desire to grow old with my husband that we may look back on how far God has led us. Continue to give me the great blessing to raise our 3 precious children and the wisdom and patience, oh boy the wisdom and patience, that I need to do so. I ask to be privileged to parent them into adulthood and then to continue the joys and struggles of parenting as I become grandmother to their children. Oh God, give me these desires of my heart!!! Along the way use my words ready to proclaim your goodness, use my hands open to receive God’s blessings to overflowing that they would flow out of my life and into those lives around me.
Oh God, we praise you for the power of your salvation!!!! It is unparalleled. Humbly, I thank you, God.
And thank you to all of you who join me in this prayer. Thank you.
*Philip Yancey quotes Dr. Bob Moorehead's The Paradox of Our Time in Vanishing Grace (p. 153-154) This quote inspired this sentence: "We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years."