Even if

Today driving to the library to have some quiet reflective and writing time this song came on the radio.

Click here to listen to "Even if" by Mercy Me

My friend sent me this song months ago when it first came out.

Today I listen to it with new ears.  I am waiting for my MRI results.  Usually this is surrounded in a time of anxiousness and fear that I can only manage to a small extent.  In the past as I await my results the fear becomes like a roaring lion that I’m trying to silence and pretend I’m not afraid of.  Much has happened in my heart the past couple of months (as I’ve discussed in previous blogs).  I wrestled with God and my faith was bolstered in mighty ways.  I assessed my faith.  I evaluated whether I could really hang my hope on what Jesus and the bible say.  I wrestled and in the end I made a decision.  I made the clear and conscious decision to believe that Jesus is who He says he is.  And it changed everything.

Fear has evaporated as I choose to believe in the unfailing love of my God.  Do you see how powerful my God has been to set me free?!  I no longer have to pretend that I’m not afraid.  Do I still have fears that pop up? Absolutely, but the paralyzing, incapacitating fear of dreading my MRI results because I dreaded that they would say cancer is coming back has gone.  Gone. 

How? There’s only one answer: Jesus. 

I read Psalm 23 this past week, words that I memorized years ago; but it was as if I read them for the first time.  This is my paraphrase:

God will guide me

I have everything I need. 

God renews my strength and leads me to right paths for His honor

When I’m in the valley of death I won’t be afraid.

God is my protection and comfort.

God blesses me with a feast and anoints my head.

**Surely goodness and unfailing love will pursue me

ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE**

and (the promise) I will live in the house of the LORD forever!

That’s my God!

I don’t know what the results will say on Thursday; but I do know that God will be with me in it all!  He’ll be there on Thursday, just as He’s been there every step of my life and will continue to be there until I enter His magnificent, Glorious, presence some day. 

God is my loving Father who pursues me with His unfailing love and goodness. 

And when my life on this earth ends, my life in heaven with God begins.

My ancestors believed this.  My own mother is the one who comforted me with the words, “it will be okay” when she was diagnosed with cancer.  Years later I say to you readers: “it will be okay.” 

And I invite you to sing this song with me, (praising and trusting our good and loving God.)

Because the Peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7) has enter my life and it has brought with it life giving freedom that is worth celebrating!