My Victory Song

On Easter Sunday I was given the opportunity to share during our church service how Jesus has changed everything in my life.  Here is a link to the sermon (I share around the 21:00 min mark). I will write out below what I shared.

In contemplation of Easter and going forward I find myself in awe and adoration of how much my God loves me.  This indeed is life-changing love.  You see when I was diagnosed with cancer, and I uncovered my dismal prognosis, I had a HUGE and desperate need to feel loved.  To feel unconditionally loved by the bucket-loads.  I needed love that was way beyond what any human (even my incredible husband!) could offer.  I needed the kind of love that God offers!

God showed me his love through

1)    People.  People gave meals provided childcare, prayed for us, sent encouraging words.

2)    The Bible: The words of scripture came alive to me.  As I chose to spend daily time reading scripture God’s love leapt of the pages and into my heart.

3)    The Holy Spirit: God spoke to my soul affirming how much He loved me.  I described to my 6 year old, it felt like Jesus was holding my heart in his gentle and loving hands.

4)    Easter: In celebrating Easter and contemplating what it took for Jesus to die an awful, shamed, and tortured death I became aware of his love for me.  Further, I kept contemplating how my mom told me a few months ago that she had not wanted me to die.  Obviously, but she said this in light of acknowledging that while she doesn’t want her daughter to die, God gave up His son, Jesus to die for us. Ah, there is the rub!  Amazing love, indeed.  For me an unworthy human.  How profound

Slowly as I realize more and more how much God loves me I find that I am trusting him more completely.  I am trusting that God wants good in my life and that he is fighting for me.  And this trust is creating breakthroughs in my life!!!  As my trust in God is increasing my fear is disappearing and this is a tremendous breakthrough! I have shared how I have fear in the week where I wait for my MRI results after I have my MRI.  Well last MRI I didn’t have the usual paralyzing fear in my wait!

How?

I’m realizing that God is never going to leave me no matter what!  He will ALWAYS be there.  He’s with me today, He’ll be with me tomorrow, He’ll be with me if the cancer comes back.

Now to be clear, life is NOT magically easy.  I still have 3 young kids to care for and raise (and we’re potty training our twins right now ---- not easy at all!), we still have the ups and downs of life and I still have to go see my oncologist every couple months.

BUT

Trusting in Jesus allows me the freedom to have undeniable hope saturated with God’s Love.

Trusting Jesus allows me to overcome fear, so I can ACTUALLY LIVE WHILE I’M ALIVE!!!!  And let me tell you, I feel vibrantly alive!!! I feel more alive than I ever have!  This truly is a VICTORY!

To close these 2 verses came to my attention:

Psalm 40:3 “[God] has given me a new song to sing

(I took note of this verse because, my oldest daughter’s name, Rayna, means song of the LORD)

Romans 8:37 “Overwhelming victory is our through Jesus Christ who loves us!”

When I put these 2 verses together I see that Jesus has given me a victory song!  Jesus absolutely has changed everything for me and the Easter was truly a celebration this year!!!